Top Ten Reasons You are TI (The Illusion).
1. You brag about not taking all your vacation days.
2. You blow an entire paycheck at a club on bottle service you can’t afford.
3. You measure your personal productivity based on hours sat at your desk instead of work actually accomplished.
4. You ask someone where they work, just so you can one up them when you tell them where you work.
5. You purchase things to create an illusion of status that you don’t have.
6. You eat all of your meals at your desk.
7. You fear doing anything personal at work. (Email, texting, instant messages, etc.). When you are texting someone and your boss walks by, you shove your phone in your pocket.
8. You wear a tie to work when you don’t have to.
9. You ask questions that serve no purpose (and that usually don’t make any sense) in order to sound engaged and important during meetings.
10. You don’t do things because you enjoy them; You do them so you can tell other people.
Expansion and Detail
1. Bragging about not taking all your vacation days has the intention of illustrating your commitment to the company. However, vacation days were meant to be used. The number of paid vacation days in the U.S is one of the lowest in the world!
Yet, there are many who not only fail to utilize all of their allotted days, but brag about not using them. This is horrible. You are not getting a break or time for yourself, your family, or friends. This may be in pursuit of “climbing the corporate ladder”, but you miss out on life. You are TI.
2. Your wages barely cover your credit card bills every month. Maybe you just make the minimum payment while interest charges rack up. You can barely afford your current lifestyle and you surely don’t save anything each month. Yet you insist on buying that expensive bottle of liquid to pretend for a fleeting moment that you’re more successful than you really are.You are SUPER TI.
3. Hours sat at your desk does not necessarily translate into a more productive employee. You love the illusion created. You love looking good. You keep “intelligent” publications (wall street journal, the economist) in plain sight so that people notice “how smart and well-read” you are. The truth is you don’t even read them! You are always the first one in the office, and damn surely will be the last one out of the office, regardless of necessity. You are TI
4. You can’t wait for the other person to finish talking about their work. You don’t even listen. You just can’t wait to drone on about your job which you think is better. You think you sound sweet. Your anecdotes are mind numbing and insipid. You are TI
5. You buy things so people around you will notice the label. You love when someone asks where you got that. You can’t afford it, but you don’t care. You love the false impression the things create.You are TI
6. You eat meals at your desk with the hope that others around you will notice. You don’t need to eat meals at your desk, but you do so by giving yourself artificial time constraints which trick yourself into thinking you are more busy and more important than you really are.You are TI
7. You have no personality. You quiver with terror, panic and alarm while cowering in fear and worry when you don’t have to. You have no soul. You sellout at any cost to gain your boss’s approval. You know that your work means nothing, but it is your life.You are TI
8. You wear a tie to work when you do not have to. You do this to feel more important. You like telling friends and family you have to wear a tie to work. You may have a “backoffice” job, yet you wear a tie in a vain attempt to foster the illusion that you are a “front office” employee. When you walk around the office, you can’t help but look down on the proletariat you artificially create in your mind that don’t wear ties.You are T-I-E. The Illusion Extreme
9. You can’t wait for the meeting to be over because then it’s “your time to shine”. It’s question time! You ask pointless questions. You extend the meeting and consume people’s time. You ask a question, just to ask a question. You don’t add value with your words. You suck up and drain everybody’s time with your meaningless jargon in a futile attempt to sound important.You are TI
10. You don’t do what you want. You do what you think will sound sweet to others. You are trapped by the illusion. You are TI